The “Buhari Integrity Anticlimax”

The only thing Buhari’s “body language” has not done is to raise the dead. And that’s according to propagandists and “Buharists”. From the revitalization of the refineries to the “fixing” of the power sector and imminent crushing of Boko Haram, President Muhammadu Buhari has brought the hitherto elusive order to Nigeria. And that, without actually doing anything. His body language did the trick!

Just two days ago, it was reported that Nigeria’s power generation hit an all time high peak of 5000MW. Miraculous! Considering the fact that President Buhari has done practically nothing about the power sector. But, the magic wand he wielded was his “integrity”, according to APC; and – whoop! – everything fell into place.

Remember that this same “integrity” fixed our grounded refineries! Four of them. All at once. Neither did President Buhari visit the refineries, nor did he even summon the NNPC management. He didn’t have to. By merely sitting on that chair, THAT presidential chair, the guys at NNPC simply “borrowed themselves some brains” and did the right thing.

You see, governing Nigeria isn’t that difficult. Just get a person with sufficient integrity onto the throne, and be sure the integrity is in abundance, because every sector of the country would need it to run, and watch how the country will fall into place, and everyone will fall in line.

The word “body language” became synonymous with the Jonathanian era. They said things like “his body language condoned corruption”, and the likes. Buhari’s body language have been doing the exact opposite: checkmating corruption. And, if we’ll follow Lai Mohammed’s philosophy, (apologies to Mr Louis van Gaal), then, all we need to run a successful country is Mr President’s body language. And, what has Buhari’s body language not affected?

Super-rich civil servants are “rushing” to sell off houses acquired from proceeds of corruption, private jet operators now groan as corrupt government officials now shun extravagance and have embraced modesty, contracts are now being executed to the letter; NNPC, NLNG, FIRS and others now remit billions per month, power is now supplied in abundance, (in fact, we have begun process of dashing out electric power to poorer neighbours), refineries are now working at full blast; the private sector, schools, and even homes all are operating under the almighty fear of Buhari. Even witches now fear to fly at night. Because a new sheriff is in town.

What we are not told however, is why and how the President’s integrity overlooked the failure to publicly declare his assets, the immoral appointment of a “relative” into a sensitive post like INEC Chairman, (almost in one fell swoop undermining the integrity and independence of one of Goodluck Jonathan’s most enduring achievements); the “u-turn” in recognising the office of first lady, or “wife of the president”, (as if we don’t know that six and half a dozen are siamese twins), the sudden and unbelievable silence about campaign promises including but not limited to paying five thousand naira a month to jobless graduates and free feeding of school pupils, and the embarrassing but obvious cluelessnes in professionally running an administration as revealed in his failure to assemble a team some eighty-something days after being sworn in, and five whole months after winning an election!

By quickly claiming Buhari’s “body language” is already fixing Nigeria, APC admits it is yet to start governance. Sad. Reading tweets from popular blogger Japhet Omojuwa’s timeline, I was shocked to see him celebrate the fact that, “for the first time, a President would know more about a ministry than the minister he would be appointing”, subtly justifying Buhari’s failure to appoint ministers. In other words, President Buhari would not only be running the country, he would be running the ministries too. With ministers as his assistants. Beautiful nonsense.

The truth is that APC and Buharists are only looking for excuses for this undeserved go-slow and lack of direction. Only President Buhari knows why he is yet to have a cabinet. And whatever reasons they are, obviously lacks merit. But people like Lai Mohammed are struggling to give explanations. So, they are quick to latch on to Buhari’s obvious selling point: Integrity. Hence the claims that Buhari’s integrity and body language is already making even satan to piss in his trousers and angels feel unworthy. They also even go as far as claiming that we don’t really do need ministers, as the country haven’t crashed since ministers weren’t appointed. Others say if Buhari could bring this much order to Nigeria without ministers, you can only imagine what will happen when he eventually does!

Eventually, I believe Buharis’s “integrity” would soon be an over-used entity, and would soon lose its value. By the time his ministerial list is ready, expect any faults in the garments of the candidates to be magnified. If Buhari dines and wines with them, then his reputation would be damaged, and with time, many would wonder what it was all about in the first place. With men like Tinubu, Amaechi and Timipre Sylva, Buhari has enough baggage to worry about already. If his administration is defined by these men, as already has been shown with the Fowler FIRS appointment, Buhari is likely to leave office with his garments slightly soiled.

By then, he may have little integrity left. And then, his performance in office would be his only defence. And going by his first hundred days, we’re likely to have a very long ride. But for now, let’s enjoy the dividends of Buhari’s integrity. Even conductors now fear to keep commuters change. And if it is mistakenly forgotten with them, they go as far as running after them to hand it to them. The fear of Buhari is doing wonders. The fear of Buhari would save Nigeria.

Olufemi Oluwaseye tweets @olufemisp and can be reached at olufemisp@yahoo.com

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